responsibility
by icclenomi
Summary: How allan a dale came to be the man he is today. A story based in his childhood.


There had been seven of them to begin with. Henry and Rachel A Dale had seven beautiful children. But then came illness. Surprisingly enough, the eldest went first, Michael- a strong lad though he were fell ill and died early 1176, and the young babes soon followed, Laura and Becky, just three months old. Our story begins in 1177, when Allan a Dale was turning six years of age...

"Come on, Benjamin, let me play!" the boy holding the tree down rolled his eyes at the one who spoke. Why was he cursed by this runt following him around just because his parents were busy with the youngest of their brood?

"No, Allan, this is a game for big boys, not scrawny children." As if to prove his point the older child pushed the other backwards, laughing as he fell on his behind. He child stayed on the ground watching his elder brothers flying from the trees in turn, landing in a well placed pile of hay. Then deciding he had to have a go, waited for his opportune moment whilst they pulled it down once more and leapt onto the branches they held, shocking them into letting go of the top. Alas, although the hay was well placed for the heavier boys, the distance at which the small boy travelled stretched further and he fell heavily to the solid ground.

They realised their mistake and ran as fast as their legs would carry them to the child screaming on the floor. Panicking, the younger of the two went straight home, bringing his father trying to explain on the way, and the elder tried to calm his brother. He looked the boy over for serious injuries, pleading silently to God that there be none, but finding it difficult as the child repeated his pleading apologies. He blinked through his weakness and eventually found the boy to be stunned, but not seriously injured. It was in that moment that Ben a Dale made a promise to pay attention to his brothers, he realised that he was the eldest son now- if he didn't grow up and look after them, who would?

* * *

1178

The A-Dales were once again struck by Fate's cruel hand when Henry was struck by a sudden and violent illness which had caused him to collapse and fall into a deep sleep from which he would never wake. Benjamin and James lowered their father's body into the ground with difficulty as the earth was sodden and weak. When they once again stood up Benjamin stood next to Allan, who wept and held onto his trouser leg.

"Allan," he had scolded, "Do not cry. Only women cry- you must be strong for mother." It was harsh, he knew, but the boy had immediately let go of his leg and sniffed, pulling his face into a serious stare as he stood silently looking at his father's grave, determined to be a big boy. Rachel clung to her youngest, as if by holding him she could bring back those she had lost. The boy himself seemed no less fussed by the situation than if his father had simply gone to the market, rather than to meet the Lord. James watched the ground in which his father now resided with a kind of morbid fascination, wondering how it could be that four of his family were sleeping in that very same earth. Ben A Dale had a more serious weight on his back, with his father dead and being now the eldest son, he now had to provide for his family- take responsibility and look after them.

Within hours of his father's burial, at 13 years of age, Ben a Dale fired up the furnace and began work on shoeing horses whilst his family mourned.

* * *

James was running home as fast as he could. He had to tell his news quickly before he burst. He would not only be fulfilling a great dream, but would be helping his family! With one less mouth to feed they would be able to have a little more, which meant Alan and little Tom wouldn't have such stunted growth anymore- they were too small and if there was a portion less being eaten… he was helping!

When he got home he went straight to his elder brother. Benjamin, I have news… I have…great news… Benjamin, I'm going to help… no, that wasn't right…

"Benjamin. Master Frederick has accepted me as his squire. I shall be leaving with him before dawn tomorrow." Well… at least it was out. Benjamin stood, his half made sword cooling before putting it into water. He spoke his words carefully.

"You… You're Master Frederick's squire?" James nodded eagerly. "Is he… is he kind? You won't be... mistreated in any way?"

"No, Ben, Frederick is a good master. I am sure of it- his servants all love him, they dote on him. He is generous- he's even shared feasts with them." Ben let himself smile.

"If you are sure." He gave his brother a serious look, who returned it with a nod. "My brother…a squire." He grinned. "Well. Best tell the others, eh? I'll tell you what. I… I will break the news to mother, make sure she understands what this means, but you'll have to tell the other two."

This, James was dreading. He loved his brothers dearly, but he reminded himself that this was for them and approached them. Tom had taken it upon himself to grab a nearby stick and poke Allan in the eye, and Allan was not happy with him.

"you did that on purpose you-"

"Allan." James called. "Tom, come here a minute." Giving his younger brother a whack on the back of the head Allan raced over to James, followed by Tom, who by this point was scowling. As they both looked up at him he nearly tried to call the whole thing off, but, again, he reminded himself what it would mean for them and slowly knelt down. He tried to think how to explain it to them as a wail came from his mother and she rushed over to him, holding onto him.

"Why are you leaving me? Why can't you stay? Why-"

"Mother, please, its not that I want to leave you its just that…" he turned to the two little 'uns. Allan had backed away slightly and was glancing at the floor, another person leaving? "Please, mother- it's for the best, it is! You'd have one less mouth to feed, one less back to clothe- it will help!" Benjamin managed to lead their mother away to calm her. James, in turn, knelt down once more to talk to his brothers, but Allan didn't want to know and simply ran from the house, so he was left explaining himself to Tom.

Tom picked up his stick again and smiled at his brother before bringing his stick forwards into James' eye.

* * *

About a week after James' departure Benjamin was working on a sword when he noticed the sound of small feet sneaking into the workshop. Smiling to himself he continued working as usual, but turned when he heard the clattering of a lot of metal objects falling to the floor, in fear that one of his siblings were trapped beneath, what he instead came across was a very sheepish looking seven year old, standing as if he had been spotted by a particularly annoyed wild boar. Allan gave a toothy grin, standing up straight with his hands clenched ever so slightly in front of him. Benjamin, not being able to control the volume of his voice, scolded the child until said boy was near tears; he could have been injured, he could have damaged something and he near gave Ben a heart attack. Once he had finished he took a hold of his brother's shoulder and shook it slightly.

"Hey. Look, you're my baby brother, I don't want to see nothin' 'appen to you. Eh?" All this prompted from Allan was a quiet 'ain't a baby' and his throwing off Ben's hand from his hair.

It didn't take Ben long to work out what Allan wanted, he was at this time throwing longing glances at the discarded sword Benjamin was making, it was far from finished, but still a masterpiece in the eyes of the child. He finally took mercy on the child and asked him what he was after.

"'ow… 'ow do you make the swords? Can I make one?" Benjamin tried not to smile at his brother's enthusiasm as he replied.

"I don't think you're quite old enough to make a sword." And added at Allan's deflated look, "But maybe, after I've finished the master's sword…You and I can make a… small dagger. But it won't be quick. You have to commit yourself to it; else I'm not wasting our resources. It won't be easy; it'll take up a lot of your time." Allan, who had gained a sparkle in his eyes, nodded vigorously and grinned. "For now, go help mother with something, or play with Tom. The sooner I finish this, the sooner we begin."

He waited until Allan was out of the workshop, before taking up his hammer and heating the metal of the sword.

* * *

Allan had played with other children in the village since he could walk, and was always quite popular due to his energetic character. When he disappeared for a few days the other children noticed, and their games were not as exciting- who had the best imagination of all of them? They figured that he was either helping his mother- as it was common knowledge she did nothing anymore- or that he had caught an illness, so they continued playing, what they did not expect was for a few days later for Allan to emerge from the blacksmith's workshop with a gleaming dagger on his belt, his smile and swagger showing how pleased he was with himself. They had immediately flocked to him as he took it out of it's small cloth scabbard.

"oi, oi, oi- 'ands off the merchandise!" He grinned as they tried to grab ahold of it.

"'ow'd you get that then? Nick it out the back?"

"no, mate- I made it."

"you never."

"I did. Where'd you think i've been the last few days?" silence. "Sweatin', over the fires, 'ammering the blade- filin' it down, and sharpening the sides." To say Allan a Dale was boasting would be an understatement, his brother watched from the doorway of his workshop as Allan spoke with pride about his work- despite the fact that the blade, as small as it was, was wonky- and the edge was as blunt as anything, Benjamin made sure of that himself. He smiled and shook his head as a boy on a horse came to a halt outside his workshop, assuming the horse wanted shoeing Ben approached the boy.

"Can I help with something?"

"You Ben a Dale?"

"Yeah."

"I've got news from my master."

"Master Frederick?" Ben asked, feeling dread in the pit of his stomach. The boy nodded and continued to speak, the words sounding echoes inside Ben's head. Picking up words such as 'fall', 'infection' and 'passed on' he nodded and thanked the boy, who gave a look of sympathy before getting back onto his saddle and riding off once more. Ben stood a moment, unsure of what to do next. Deciding in a second he called out to his younger brother.

"Allan." a turn of a head. "Come in, I want to talk to you."

"No! Can't it wait?"

"No, Allan. Come in- I need to talk to you." The boy rolled his eyes and practically stomped his way inside. He hit his younger brother on the back of the head before leaning against the wall to listen to his brother.

"I've just spoken to a messenger. From Master Frederick." Allan's face fell. And he stood up properly, as if it would help him hear. "James... he died a few days ago." But... thought Allan, he only left a few months ago.

Ben didn't want to see the faces of his family as he broke the news, but he did. Allan had walked from the room quickly, presumably so as to be out of sight from others as he wept, as Ben knew he would- Allan was a far more emotional boy than his siblings had ever been. Tom had sat on the floor, looking upset- but had, determined, continued to play with his bear, not seeming to notice as it shook in his hands.

It was his mothers reaction which was the most frightening. She said nothing, and did nothing. From a woman who wept inconsolably when her son had left the house, for her to not react to news of his death was disconcerting to say the least. You might not think too much of it, until you realized, she did not anything anymore. She did not speak, she did not eat, and it was difficult to tell if she slept. It was not long before within a month of grieving the loss of their brother, the three remaining a Dales were orphaned.

* * *

Two winters had passed since the boys were left alone, and Ben was turning 17 years of age. It happened that on one particular Wednesday he found himself, along with his siblings, in a marketplace, with the hopes of finally obtaining some new clothing for the trio. As small as the boys remained, their clothes would not keep out the cold any longer, and so, with coins Ben had been saving for over four years, they searched for thick clothing. As chance would have it there was another person in the marketplace that day; a girl. This girl was of about 15 years of age and, similarly, was in search of clothing, but due to some misfortune she suddenly found herself without any money and it wasn't until she heard scolding behind her that she realized what had happened. Making sure to keep her hood concealing her, she turned as she heard a voice speak to her.

"Sorry, my brother- he... he... he... hello, I'm Ben." Ben a Dale wasn't entirely aware of his brothers giggling at him, or of the fact that he was turning a strange new shade of red. The girl, also unaware of her surroundings looked at this boy with wide eyes. He quickly thrust his hand forwards holding the palm up, her coins gleaming. "My.. My brother- he does this sometimes... I don't know why..."

"That's all right. No harm done. But you had better tell him... which one was it?" Ben turned and pulled the smallest forwards. "You? What's your name?" The child made an inaudible sound. Ben nudged him and he rolled his eyes.

"Tom."

"Tom. I know you probably stole from me because you thought you needed the money, am I right?" He stared at her. "Well, next time you steal, make sure it's not from someone like me- I'm not any better off than you are." At this the girl walked away, leaving Ben staring.

After this occasion, Ben suddenly found new reasons to go to market each week- often returning with nothing. Allan could see what he was up to and shook his head at the thought. But each time Ben went to market, Allan worked. Lord only knew what Tom got up to, could be robbing the manor dry as far as he knew, and all he knew was- the more horses he shoed, the more food got put on their plates. It was Spring soon, when everything changed. Instead of the usual greeting Allan received when Ben came home, he found himself being pulled into a massive hug and lifted from the ground.

"Happy?" He asked unnecessarily.

"Allan- You see before you a happy man. A full man! I'm marrying her!"

"Who? The girl from the marketplace?"

"Leah- oh, he mere thought of her name makes me want to-"

"Hold up... How long you been seeing her?" Allan could hardly believe his own words.

"I feel I've known her since time began." Allan smiled at his brother and returned to pulling the old nails from a large horse's hoof.

In truth Ben had only seen Leah five times in those four months, but he had made them count. It didn't take him long to see how the girl was always careful to keep her face hidden. Why do you hide away from the world? It is my shame I must hide. Her shame? He had finally been able to get out of her that she had been on the receiving end of the temper of an unsavory soldier. This had left the left side of her face scarred, and to hide her shame, she hid her face. At this he had brought his hand up to her face, and gently stroked her cheek. Leah, do not hide away. I want the world to see the beauty of the woman I love. She had looked at him when he said this as he held out a small ring, a ring which he had undoubtedly made himself, and to answer his unasked question, she slowly pulled down her hood and smiled. I will.

* * *

After a few months of marriage things began to settle down in the a Dale house. Tom quickly discovered that his sister in law would not stand for his thieving, just as she would not stand for Allan's hitting him on the back of his head. Ben sang whilst his worked and Leah went to market each week in the hopes of selling some of his goods. Why it hadn't occurred to him to make more day-to-day objects she would never know, but it had increased the family's income that was for sure.

Allan had thought at the beginning that was why Leah had become more round, food. He himself had filled out a little, and even gained a bit of height, but he soon realized that actually, most of her new weight was going to her belly. Curious about this, he spoke to her one day.

"You're belly's bigger." She smiled.

"It is." He realized he would have to say more if he wanted anything out of her.

"Ben's been singing."

"He has."

"Does this mean that your... that he's gonna be... that there's gonna be... " Finally taking mercy on the boy, Leah laughed.

"A baby?" he nodded and she smiled wider. She looked him straight in the eye for a few seconds before nodding. "Should arrive by winter. You, Allan, are going to be an uncle." The boy grinned and hugged her tightly.

"I'm very happy for you." And he was. In fact the first thing he did after this was to visit a nearby carpenter he knew, who had supported him whenever he had run form his house. He spoke to this carpenter and made a deal, the carpenter in question knew of the troubles the boy's family had in the past, and knew they still were among the worst off, even though things were beginning to look up, but the boy insisted on paying. And so it was decided- a crib for the a Dales, and Allan would shoe their horse whenever it needed doing between then and the baby's birth. The boy believed he was making an excellent deal, but the horse had only been shoed a week previous to this, by Ben a Dale- whose shoes would last for a long time.

And so it came that Allan a Dale provided for their family's newest arrival four months before their birth.

* * *

Ben a Dale was in a state of shock. This tiny creature lying peacefully in his hands was so strange, yet so right. In truth it was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on, his daughter. How anyone could be so tiny, so prefect, flawless. He couldn't find any words to speak. His young wife smiled up at him as he gently cradled this new child, this little person, as if to say- you made that. She even had a small tuft of reddish hair coming form the top of her head, and she was there, sleeping so peacefully after her sudden entry to this world. He knew that she was the light of his world, the spitting image of her mother, and yet there was no doubt that she was his. His daughter; Rachel a Dale.

* * *

It was a long walk to York, a very long walk, but Ben and Allan had come to meet with one of James' friends. Who apparently had something he needed to give them. When they arrived in York the streets were filled and they made their way to the inn that had been named and, after inquiring after this man and getting nothing, they waited. After a few days they realized he wasn't likely to show and so, gathering their few belongings, they went back on their way home. Blissfully unaware of what would be waiting for them when they got there.

Upon their return to the village, they were immediately descended upon by concerned neighbors- we tried to stop them, but they wouldn't- they were soldiers you know, unstoppable. At this the brothers quickly made their way to their home, finding the doorway broken and heavy footprints leading out. In a panic Ben called out his wife's name and Allan went in search of his brother and niece. Allan looked all over, crawled on his hands and knees, until he could her soft breathing and trembling feet. He slowly pulled away a crooked door to find Tom, holding Rachel, his eyes closed and his breathing getting heavy. Allan, pulled them into a fierce embrace not wanting to let go. Once Tom realized who it was he relaxed and with a sad face handed over the baby. Allan chocked back a sob as he felt her cold face, knowing at once that she was dead. He gingerly placed her in her cot, a silent tear running down his face, and he picked up his brother, holding him tightly. The smaller of the two, although in great deals of pain, did not care, and simply sobbed into the thin cloth of Allan's shirt.

"Allan!" Ben a Dale was furious. He had returned to his home to find his wife, his beautiful wife... violated, beaten. She had passed on at least a day ago, and he did not even know where the children were. "Allan! Have you found them, are they alright?"

Allan had slowly walked into the main room once more, still holding onto Tom. He looked at his elder brother with tears in his eyes and shook his head. Ben went up to him, looked at his youngest brother, then towards his daughter's cot. Feeling fury bubbling from within his very core he strode toward his workshop. This scared Allan, who followed as quickly as he could, placing Tom carefully on the floor.

"Ben," He asked, trembling. "Ben, please, don't do anything."

Unfortunately the person standing before Allan was no longer his caring older brother, Ben died when he found the bodies of his wife and child. It was the last straw in a long life of loss, and for this, he had someone to blame. He was going to find the men who had done this, and he was going to make them suffer. Paying no attention to the pleas of his brother, even pushing him into the wall when he got in the way, he strode out of their home to find the soldiers responsible.

All Allan could do now was watch.

* * *

Let it be heard and known, that on this, the 17th day of July, in the year of our lord 1183 Ben a Dale has been tried under English law and found guilty. He has been sentenced to hang by the neck until dead. Allan a Dale refused to watch, he would not, could not. He had seen his brother in the gaol and Ben had apologized, and he had cried, not caring what anybody thought.

Allan was beyond scared. He thought he had been scared 7 years ago when his brother and sisters had died. He was wrong, because then his father died a couple of years later, leaving the family in Ben's hands. But he still wasn't as frightened as he would ever be. Soon after he lost another brother and his mother, and oh how bitterly he had wept. But this was somehow different. This fear was a new one. Allan now knew how it felt to have no idea what he was going to do- their house had been seized, and he would be left alone with no one save his little brother, who hadn't been the same since the attack.

Benjamin had been remorseful, he had acted in a fit of rage and slaughtered the men who dared to take his family away from him, and he hadn't thought of the consequences. He saw his brothers in front of him, Allan would be the eldest soon- 12 years old and without a roof over his head or a penny to his name. What had Ben done for him? He had doomed them both. How fitting that the first time they saw him cry, was the last time they saw him alive.

Allan had comforted Tom as best he could once Ben had left, he somehow knew that they would not live in peace and so immediately picked out their warmest clothes and shoved them into a sack. He took Tom by the hand and together they had walked towards the gaol, hoping to speak with their brother one last time.

* * *

The boys had left behind their past when they left behind that village, starting fresh. Allan grudgingly let Tom steal some food for them so they could survive, and soon- through observation and goading, learned to steal himself. Sometimes they would lay their hands on enough coinage to rest their heads under the roof of an inn, but usually they would have to sneak into a barn, or find a small alcove in a wall, or beg mercy of families with a space on the floor.

The defining moment for Allan a Dale came one night they weren't as lucky, and he and Tom were shivering under their cloaks in the pouring rain, as tucked away as they could manage and Tom, asleep, grabbed a hold of his arm as he never did anymore when he was awake. It was in that moment that Allan a Dale made a promise to himself that Tom would forever be safe. After all- if he didn't watch out for him, who would?


End file.
